When You Can't Take Care of Your Child

• Legal parent: A person who the government recognizes as a legal parent. You don’t have to go through a court case to be a legal parent! Many parents are automatically the legal parents to their children:  
  • Married parents: You’re automatically a legal parent to any children born to you or your spouse during your marriage or within 300 days after you get divorced, even if the child isn’t biologically yours.   
  • Unmarried mothers: You’re automatically a legal parent to any child you give birth to (unless you’re a surrogate).  
  • Unmarried fathers: You’re a legal parent if your name is on your child’s birth certificate, you sign an official form saying you are the father, or if you have a court or agency order that says you’re the legal father. 
• Caregiver: In this section, we use the word caregiver to refer to anyone who is not your child's legal parent who watches your child or helps you care for your child. A caregiver could be a childcare provider, stepparent, grandparent, other relative, friend, or roommate.  
• Legal guardian: An adult approved of or chosen by the court to care for a child when the child’s legal parents aren’t available. A guardian can make most parenting decisions for a child, including medical and educational decisions. A guardianship case can be started by a private person, like a grandparent or other relative, or by the Department of Human Services (DHS).  
• Custodial parent: Someone who has gone through a court case to get a legal document, called a judgment, that gives them legal custody of a child. A child can have two custodial parents if parents agree to share custody of a child.   
• Non-custodial parent: The parent who does not have legal custody after a custody court case.   
• Delegation of parental powers: Something that legal parents can do to give a caregiver permission to make parenting decisions for their child. Parents can use the Delegation of Parental Powers form for this.

A caregiver can make day-to-day decisions about how to care for your child while your child is with them. A caregiver can also make emergency medical decisions to save your child’s life.

A caregiver usually can’t help with these important parenting tasks unless you give them written permission:   

• Enrolling your child in a new school. 
• Signing school permission slips. 
• Talking to your child’s teachers or attending parent-teacher conferences. 
• Scheduling doctor’s appointments. 
• Talking to your child’s doctors about your child’s health. 
• Getting routine medical care for your child. 
• Seeing your child’s medical records.

A caregiver often needs written permission to help with parenting tasks when they’re dealing with third parties. Third parties include anyone outside of your family, such as a doctor, childcare provider, school, Department of Human Services (DHS), or other government office.  

To give a caregiver written permission, you can use the Delegation of Parental Powers form. After completing this form, give it to:  

1. The caregiver watching your child;   
2. Your child's school or childcare provider; and   
3. Your child’s doctors or other medical providers. 

A Delegation of Parental Powers form lets you:  

1. Choose a person to make decisions for your child;  
2. Choose what decisions you want that person to make for your child; and  
3. Say how long you want that person to be able to make decisions for your child.  

You can give parental powers to a:  

• Relative, 
• Friend, 
• Spouse, 
• School administrator (but only educational decisions), or 
• Another safe adult.

A Delegation of Parental Powers form lasts for six months from the day you sign it. But there are two exceptions to this six-month rule:  

• If you’re in active military duty: The form lasts for your entire active duty, plus 30 days after your active duty ends.  
• If you give parental powers to a school administrator: The delegation of parental powers lasts for 12 months. 

Yes. This form does not take away any of your rights. This form gives another person permission to make decisions for your child, in addition to you.

Yes. You can take away permission by filling out the Revocation of Parental Powers (the last page in the linked form). Give this form to the person who was helping you with your child. Also give this form to your child’s school, doctor, dentist, and anyone else who may need to know you are taking away this person’s authority to make decisions for your child. 

Here are some options:  

• If the other parent is available and is a safe parent: Ask the other parent if they can watch your child.  
• If the other parent is not available: Ask a caregiver to watch your child. You can give a caregiver permission to temporarily care for your child by filling out a Delegation of Parental Powers form. After completing this form, give copies to:   
  • The caregiver watching your child;  
  • Your child's school or childcare provider; and  
  • Your child’s doctors or other medical providers.  
• If the other parent is available, but is NOT a safe parent: You can still ask a caregiver to watch your child. But it gets complicated if the other parent doesn’t agree with this. In this situation, it is a good idea to get legal help if you can.     

There may be risks to leaving your child with someone else for more than a few weeks. See the last question, “Are there risks to leaving my child in someone else’s care?” 

You can continue to sign new Delegation of Parental Powers forms every six months, for as long as you need someone else to care for your child.  

Caution: There may be risks to leaving your child with someone else for more than a few weeks. See the last question, “Are there risks to leaving my child in someone else’s care?” 

If you decide you want someone else to have long-term rights to make decisions for your child, it is best to get legal help. If you give someone else permanent permission to care for your child, this decision is hard to take back. Visit the Referral Database to find legal help in your area.  

It depends on whether the other parent is a legal parent, custodial parent, or non-custodial parent. 

• If the other parent isn’t your child’s legal parent: No, they can’t legally take your child.  
• If you are both legal parents and haven’t gone to court for custody: Yes. The other parent can take your child. The other parent has the same rights that you do.  
• If you are the custodial parent: No. The other parent can’t take your child. They must follow the visitation schedule in your court papers. But they can go back to court and ask the judge to change custody or the visitation schedule if you are unable to care for your child.  
• If you are the non-custodial parent: No. The other parent can’t take your child. They must follow the visitation schedule in your court papers. But they could go back to court and ask the judge to change the visitation schedule if you are unable to care for your child. 

If you have questions about any of this, you should get legal help. 

Yes. But there are special rules for service-member parents: 

• If your child lives with the other parent or the other parent is the custodial parent: You must give your parental authority to the other parent (unless you go to court and a judge says this is not in your child’s best interests).  
• If your child lives with you or you have sole custody: You can give parental authority to the other parent, a relative, your spouse, or another safe parent.     
• If you have joint custody of your child: You can give your parental authority to your current spouse (unless the other parent goes to court and gets a decision from a judge that this is not in your child’s best interests).  

The Delegation of Parental Powers form can last for more than six months for military service members. It can last your entire active duty, plus 30 days after your active duty ends. 

You have these options: 

1. Sign a Delegation of Parental Powers form before you go. Choose an adult to make decisions for your child for six months. You can have a new form made up for the next six months, and for as many six-month periods as you need. Make sure the adult agrees to take care of your child for that long. 
2. If you did not sign a "Delegation of Powers" because you were forced to leave the country, a relative in the U.S. can fill out a Relative Caregiver Affidavit. The relative caregiver must renew the Affidavit every year you are gone. 
3. You may be able to choose an adult to become your child’s legal guardian. See Guardianship.

Yes. There are several risks you should be aware of:  

1. A caregiver might refuse to return your child. If this happens, it can be a long process to get your child back. You can try to get your child back if you are still the legal parent and the caregiver doesn’t have legal rights. Just don’t break any laws or hurt anyone. But, if you don’t know where your child is, or the caregiver won’t let you see your child, you will need help from the courts.      
2. DHS gets involved. If you leave your child with an unsafe person or in an unsafe situation, the Department of Human Services (DHS) can get involved to protect your child. DHS will make decisions for your child based on what they think is best for your child.  
3. The other parent can ask for legal custody or a change in your current visitation plan. If you are unable to care for your child, your child’s other parent can ask the court for custody of your child. For more on custody, go here.